Sunday, April 13, 2014

Dear John

I mentioned here that John Holt and I have conversations now and then.

We had to cut it short last time because of the in-sensitivities of the 8 and under crowd milling about at my house.
We picked it back up this afternoon and it went something like this:

Katie: Concerned passers-by often challenge me on the socialization front. They ask, "If children are taught at home, won't they miss the valuable social life of the school?"

John: "If there were no other reason for wanting to keep kids out of school, the social life would be reason enough. In all but a very few of the schools I have taught in, visited, or know anything about, the social life of the children is mean-spirited, competitive, exclusive, status-seeking, snobbish, full of talk about who went to whose birthday party and who got what Christmas presents and who got how many Valentine cards and who is talking to so-and-so and who is not..... "

"When I point [the above] out to people, I am always astonished by their response. Not one person of the hundreds with whom I've discussed this has yet said to me that the social life at school is kindly, generous, supporting, democratic, friendly, loving, or good for children. No, without exception, when I condemn the social life of school, people say "But that's what the children are going to meet in real life."

..."Of course, children who spend almost all their time in groups of other people their own age, shut out of society's serious work and concerns, with almost no contact with any adults except child-watchers, are going to feel that what "all the other kids" are doing is the right, the best, the only thing to do."

Katie: What does it take to homeschool "well?"


John: “We can sum up very quickly what people need to teach their own children. First of all, they have to like them, enjoy their company, their physical presence, their energy, foolishness and passion.

They have to enjoy all their talk and questions and enjoy equally trying to answer those questions. They have to think of their children as friends, indeed very close friends, have to feel happier when they are near and miss them when they are away.

They have to trust them as people, respect their fragile dignity, treat them with courtesy, take them seriously. They have to feel in their own hearts some of their children’s wonder, curiosity and excitement about the world.

And they have to have enough confidence in themselves, skepticism about experts, and willingness to be different from most people, to take on themselves the responsibility for their children’s learning. But that is about all the parents need.” 

Katie: Is there some "stuff" everyone should be taught? Some common knowledge?

John: "No....

Well, maybe,  to learn to say 'I'm sorry', 'I don't know', and 'I was wrong'."

Katie: Why is it unwise to push a child?

John: " If we continually try to force a child to do what he is afraid to do, he will become more timid, and will use his brains and energy, not to explore the unknown, but to find ways to avoid the pressures we put on him...."



Thanks John. 




“We can sum up very quickly what people need to teach their own children. First of all, they have to like them, enjoy their company, their physical presence, their energy, foolishness and passion.
They have to enjoy all their talk and questions and enjoy equally trying to answer those questions. They have to think of their children as friends, indeed very close friends, have to feel happier when they are near and miss them when they are away.
They have to trust them as people, respect their fragile dignity, treat them with courtesy, take them seriously. They have to feel in their own hearts some of their children’s wonder, curiosity and excitement about the world.
And they have to have enough confidence in themselves, skepticism about experts, and willingness to be different from most people, to take on themselves the responsibility for their children’s learning.
But that is about all the parents need.”
- See more at: http://simplehomeschool.net/heart/#sthash.cqK3rNhB.dpuf
When asked what parents need to homeschool well, here was his response:
“We can sum up very quickly what people need to teach their own children. First of all, they have to like them, enjoy their company, their physical presence, their energy, foolishness and passion.
They have to enjoy all their talk and questions and enjoy equally trying to answer those questions. They have to think of their children as friends, indeed very close friends, have to feel happier when they are near and miss them when they are away.
They have to trust them as people, respect their fragile dignity, treat them with courtesy, take them seriously. They have to feel in their own hearts some of their children’s wonder, curiosity and excitement about the world.
And they have to have enough confidence in themselves, skepticism about experts, and willingness to be different from most people, to take on themselves the responsibility for their children’s learning.
But that is about all the parents need.” John Holt, Teach Your Own
- See more at: http://simplehomeschool.net/heart/#sthash.cqK3rNhB.dpuf
When asked what parents need to homeschool well, here was his response:
“We can sum up very quickly what people need to teach their own children. First of all, they have to like them, enjoy their company, their physical presence, their energy, foolishness and passion.
They have to enjoy all their talk and questions and enjoy equally trying to answer those questions. They have to think of their children as friends, indeed very close friends, have to feel happier when they are near and miss them when they are away.
They have to trust them as people, respect their fragile dignity, treat them with courtesy, take them seriously. They have to feel in their own hearts some of their children’s wonder, curiosity and excitement about the world.
And they have to have enough confidence in themselves, skepticism about experts, and willingness to be different from most people, to take on themselves the responsibility for their children’s learning.
But that is about all the parents need.” John Holt, Teach Your Own
- See more at: http://simplehomeschool.net/heart/#sthash.cqK3rNhB.dpuf


1 comment:

Megan said...

Beautiful stuff.

What do you do if you are going through a decent spurt of being maxed out of kid company?

Everyone has the need for alone time, right??