Monday, January 9, 2012

Here I Am

Dear Katie and Jane,

my dearest friends, my sisters, my therapists,

I am feeling empowered lately.  I overcame one of my fears by driving on the 401 and the 403 for the first time,  to reach Katie a few weeks ago.  All it took was stirring up my determination and a GPS!
It felt so healthy to just do it.  I think it was really healthy for my children to participate in that adventure and see me forge ahead and overcome, they were proud and I am proud of me, all for such a seemingly small thing.

So I guess in response to your last post Katie, one of my fears is driving on crazy, busy freeways.

I have realized as well that I am uncomfortable with anyone thinking ill of me.  Is that a fear?

For instance, I had to call the doctor a few days ago to tell them I lost the date and time of our next appointment and could the nurse tell me again.  I could tell she was a touch miffed.  She hung up abruptly, slightly rudely.  I was uncomfortable, wondering if she was thinking, "oh that woman, she must be so disorganized, how is she manging with four children etc, can't even keep the date straight......."

Why should I care what the nurse thinks of me? 

Perhaps this year should be one were I look at my life and acknowledge all the ways I am succeeding and let my inner voice be kinder, more gentle.

I used some of  my determination mentioned above to learn how to get a photo from our ipod onto the PC and onto this blog, tada!

 This is a picture of my sweet Samuel that I took with our ipod today.
Today was a big day for him. He waved at the children coming in off the school bus and is clearly saying "uh-oh". Cutesy.
What do you think of the quality?


Katie said...

I think fearing what people think of you is a legit fear- for sure. I like your idea of teaching the inner voice to be kind and gentle. Do you know how to accomplish such a thing?

Megan said...

Well, Mom would say affirmations.

"I love myself and I am kind and gentle to myself"
"just relax, you have four children, don't expect perfection"